nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she smelled like a LAN party
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
