Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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