Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
