I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
