What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
