Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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