How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
