Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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