How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
