doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
