ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
