im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
