Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
