just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
