Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
