if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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