i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
