So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
