____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
