im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
