This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize