I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
