I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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