i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
