Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
