I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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