HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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