let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
