I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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