Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
