just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
