After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
