I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize