He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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