Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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