Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
