Dual....:-)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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