Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
