some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hippo gnu deer
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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