Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
