How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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