I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
