Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
