I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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