spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I looked at my own cervix.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
