so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
