he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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