omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
