God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
