well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
