I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
