just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
sex in a hospital.. check
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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