You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
