i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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