i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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