i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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