His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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