last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
