shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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