How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
