yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
