Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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