Pants 0. Shit 1.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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