i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I believe in your delicious
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
