My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
