You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
honey bunches of taint.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
