Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
