we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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