and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
