She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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