For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
