...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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