Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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