HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
