if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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