Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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