Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
