You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i believe in u and ur pee
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
