i would punch a child for taco bell
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
