6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
